I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
