I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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