I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
