Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
