i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you will always have a special place in my vag
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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