I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
