Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
