yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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