Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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