We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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