while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
