We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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