If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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