SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We have started to decorate penises.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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