you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
