He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
