Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
