when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
