You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
