Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
