i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
