i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize