I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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