Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm just crazy horny about you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
