Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
