she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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