he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
