i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
