at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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