I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
