i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
