Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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