From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
