check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
