My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
