Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We got so high we made milksteak
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
