went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
