My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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