normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
