I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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