the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
