last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
