we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
