I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
