I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize