We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
