You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
