Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
