One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
