soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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