Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
