when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
