His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
