grandma shit on top of the toilet
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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