and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
