Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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