she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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