I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
