I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
