Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
honey bunches of taint.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
